did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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