She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
