I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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