the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
