I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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