Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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