Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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