youre lurking in front of me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
