I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
