Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The adults are the big ones right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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