I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nicole vs. Life
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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