i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
