Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
