their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
