his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
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Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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