There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
