Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
