Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
