She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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