I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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