But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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