the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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