I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He felt like a one man threesome
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
