oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
