forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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