I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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