I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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