Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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