I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
