I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
