Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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