i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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