Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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