We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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