College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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