Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
