he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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