i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
