Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
