Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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