yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
