Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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