Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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