My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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