I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
