just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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