God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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