I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will pee on everything he values.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
