Whod you bang
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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