how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
