I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i will never coherently bang her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
