booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
