Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
