he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
