Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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