I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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